BlogYYY
Sunday, August 3, 2008,5:59 PM
My Dog Died!
I
Don't
Understand
Death.
What
Is
Death?
How
Could
He
Die
So
Soon
.
.
.
?
At least I took some pictures of him just THIS morning.
I even posted them on my blog.
Do you know who I am talking about?
You must or you are clueless. CLUELESS.
I have a picture of him with Lori (the maid).
But I don't
have
a
picture
of
him...
and...
me...
I will not get another I will NOT
I got him a little blue ball a few days ago, and a small rawhide bone.
He never did get to play with them.
He's not old.
It was the car. The car hit him and he didn't avoid it. And there was blood.
How were you this morning? You seemed weak and I thought you were tired were you actually ill? You were so cute...
Animals don't have souls.
Serafin. You are MY Serafin. Mine.
***
We buried Serafin just now. Aunty Elsi and Selvi (the maids) dug the hole in the land we bought beside our house, which I call Shadow's Land, since our other dogs Shadow and Lexus stay there. The hole is all the way at the side of the rectangle-shaped land, beside the fence that separates Shadow's Land and the next land, which does NOT belong to us.
When people tell me that someone, or something, has died, I don't really get it. I mean, I understand it and all, and I think, Definition of death: the loss of a life. But I don't really... it doesn't really get through my brain, you get me? Probably not. I mean, I don't really understand the harsh reality of the situation. Like when Pluto, my other dog, died last year (or was it this year? I'm not very good with dates), and my mom told me, I was indifferent. I said "oh" and went on doing whatever I had been doing before she told me.
So when Aunty Selvi ran into the house and called my mom, saying, "Serafin sudah mati!" I was shocked. Me and my mom ran outside to the road, and I was thinking, Oh God, no, no, please no. Then we saw him lying in the middle of the road in front of our house, between my house and the neighbor's. He was lying on his right side, and there was a puddle of dark red blood on the asphalt. But the side of his face facing upwards, to us, was not bloodstained.
I guess what happened was that he ran out of the house, and that a car came and hit him while he was running. And the car hit him on the head. Why didn't the driver see where he (or she) was going? Maybe he/she couldn't avoid Serafin. The least he/she could do was 'fess up, but it's a little scary, confessing, I get it. Maybe the driver thought Serafin was a stray dog... Wait a minute. American Cocker Spaniels aren't strays. YOU DON'T SEE STRAY COCKER SPANIELS RUNNING AROUND THE ROADS. Shut up! Shut up!
You, driver, you, whoever you are, I hope you feel sad. Or guilty. The least you can do is feel sad.
So, as I was saying, I went back into the house and to the balcony and yelled to Jia He, Jia Wei, Jia Qing, and Chen Chen (our cousin) that Serafin died. Jia He looked sceptical. He said, "Don't lie." I told him, "I'm not." Then he asked me to promise I was telling the truth, so I promised. Then I said to him again, "Serafin is dead!" And that was when I realized how real it was, how real death was, and it made me cry. I ran off into my room, and stayed there while they put the body into a black plastic bag so no flies would attack him.
A while later I came out, and Jia He was coming into the house through the front entrance, also crying. I had stopped by then. We went downstairs, and they put the body in front of the fence separating Shadow's Land from our house. We wanted to wait for Aunty Elsi to come back so we could bury him together, because today was her off day, and she went out shopping. I stayed down there awhile with them, just crying and staring at the black plastic bag.
Then I went upstairs, to my room, and brought my laptop in with me, careful not to be seen. I stayed in my room with the curtains down and cried some more and looked at Serafin's pictures. Then I called Tash and told her. She thought I was kidding, too. But honestly, I didn't really feel like talking, but people like Shi Wei and the others called me anyway and asked about it.
Aunty Elsi came back, and we all went to Shadow's Land to watch her and Aunty Selvi dig a hole in the ground, right next to Pluto's grave, which was marked by a wheel so Shadow and Lexus wouldn't step on it. Then we put the black plastic bag in, and opened it so we could see Serafin for the last time. But this time, his right side was facing up, so we saw his face covered in blood. So we turned him over so his clean side was facing up. And his eyes were open.
Mom suggested that we pray for Serafin, so she went...
Mom: Father God, we pray for Serafin...
Me: Animals don't have souls, so they don't go to heaven or hell when they die.
Mom: What? Really? Oh. Um. Then... we pray that Serafin died peacefully--"
Me: *weird face* How can you die peacefully when you got hit by a CAR????
Mom: O.O Oh! *starts laughing and my brothers join in*
Anyway, she says that she hopes that Serafin didn't suffer too much, since we all don't know how he died. She cried also. But it must have been an accident. Yeah, I cried a lot after that, when I went back to my room. I look so horrible when I cry. Jia He cried too, when he came into my room and saw me working on this post. My mom is sad, too, actually. My dad is in China on a business trip, so I don't know. During dinner just now, Jia He made me laugh a lot by acting like his normal funny self and telling me stories about school and his weird partner (the girl who sits next to him, but they're not married or anything). I laughed a lot. A LOT. And I felt a lot better.
Of course, he was in danger of crying, too, so we tried not to talk about Serafin just now. We are supposed to all play The Game of Life together later, but it's late now and they have school tomorrow. Me, my school starts on Wednesday because of the chicken pox thing.
Here are the pictures of Serafin I took today. I only wish I had one of him and me... And thanks to Tash, because she helped me upload some of the pictures onto Photobucket.
WE LOVE YOU , SERAFIN!
By the way, in that last picture he's not dead. He was just tired. I can't upload some pictures. I'll edit this the next time I can, and post up the remaining pictures. Note to self: Post pictures 8, 12, and 13.
It's so painful
And it hurts
It hurts a lot
Labels: death, dogs, pictures, serafin
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